α ℓσѕт ƒяιєη∂

uhmmm.... yes... she was a lost freind..& certainly someone whom i remember from class 2nd after we parted.

so this story is about sn_ha, she was wid me till class 2nd. so jst 3 years togethor ...k.g., Ist class., IInd class.(nursery too, bt we were too small to knw each other den). bt bt...still i couldnt forgt her. theres a special reson bhind it. i did my first ever stage performance wid her. we danced in pairs infront of a thousand(may be less) ppl(though there were many othr pairs too).

 so, i have our pic...n so far... dat pic didnt let me forgt her. morevor my cousins are also responsible for it.    sare ke sare mujhe chedte the...like .. sarthak..whus dis sn_haaaaaaa??????   u can imagine the long tone.!! n hw i used to rply??? blush!!  n in such a manner as if m gonna be hers' nly.  huh!!! ....childhood's cute memories.....    

she was very fair n gud lukin...par abhi bhi hai...bt u can understand the child age cuteness.  many of my frnds were after her,,,some used to tell me.. "oe oe,, aj wo kitna sundar sa khana lekar aai he"  huh!! my god..dey used to appreciate dat too(whch was made by her mothr). n me...  u cant evn imagine wat i usd to do...  i usd to run to playground n tell my frnds(who were aftr them) that" oe oe...dekko, wo aa gai.. chal chal nai to mam aa jaengi"    ... i knw iknw  u mst have thought that main kitna bada chu.... tha!!   bt...    ab tha to tha!!!    leave it!!

  ye sab to use bhi nai pata hoga...    bt it really feel nice wn u get to knw a frnd..  n dat too like her.. i mean "special"(hehe)   aftr so many yrs.. (wid special thnxs to vasudha,,who told me abt her)   she lives at the bakside of my house..n so far.. for so many years.. we didnt meet..  n after 10 or 12 yrs.. i came to knw dis.  &  still we havnt met.  bt we hav seen each other,,,  i, stnding on my balcony,, n she, waving her hand frm the car.

bas... at the end.. she is my "lost frnd"..  so u all keep tryin to find somone ..who u remembr..  n find ur lost frnd...   nw pls.. dont turnon ur phone buk to search ...(especially aneesh..he he"")

Pain is Inevitable.. Suffering is Optional

here i am wd ma first blog n i dont hw 2 start bt... here i go.... Life... a journey wd hell lot of ups n downs(though v all jst luk towards d downs bt.. nvr mind_)... ma life jst like of any other gurl in d world had started showng me d downs a few days back..... m actually happy go lucky kinda person bt when life takes d responsibility 2 destroy u u cant help it.... bohot din tak i was lyk 'kisi se bat ni karni' 'evry single person is selfish' bla bla kinda theories par ji rai thi.....n kch din rone pitne k bad now m realising wat ma bro once said to me "Pain Is Inevitable bt Suffering is Optional".... i was hurt badly.... bt then it was me who was accepting the pain whch was gifted 2 me by d pepl i dont care or dose dont care for me( i know thoda babaji k updesh ki tarah lag ra h sory if u geting bored u can leave it here only bt me to adat se pareshan hu .....bohot pakaungi).... aisi kai saari ulti sidhi baten sochne k bad i thot f leavng ma worries into ma secret (n of course imaginary) treasure box where i hav lept all ma sweet n bitter memories f the people i once cared.... i realised kabi kabi hume un insaano ki jagah unke sath spend kiye ho time se pyar ho jata h....sometimes the sweet moments make our life beautiful not people coz people may change bt d memories are treasured in ur heart......4evr(unless n untill u go under memory loss)........and after thnkng ths way, all the stupid thngs whch once i thot were killing me, seemed just nightmares... after evry dreaded thot was thot,after evry single tear f ma eye ws droppd, i jst tuk a deep breath lukd 2wards ma inner self.. thot d pain was an optical illusion idecided 4 new beginig.... a fresh start.... i thot f ma life wdout hatred without d green monster f jelousy n wdout all d sobs n cries..... it seemed beautiful..n nw m jst making ths thot f mine come 2 reality.... 2day after so many days of suffering i feel happy.... i feel free... i feel nice .. i feel d purity... n i feel 2 end ths blog ..... bohot dimag chat lia.... sorry 4 d grammatical n spelling n... whchevr errors u find.... coz i m jst like dat.. full of errors yet beatiful.... though not so pretty... nw m finishd off wd ma blog n... jst 4gt 2 mention ma sweet frn sarthak who askd me 2 write d blog long ago.... i jst wana say a thanks...... take care n god bless all...(me 2.)
P

ι'ℓℓ вє яιgнт тнєяє ωαιтιηg ƒσя υ

before u start off wid this one...read the last portion of "whenevr i"....dere u will gt to knw y i have postd this blog again,aftr deletng once...   these two are connected.... 

In this early morning time....i've listnd to 3 bck to back hit soft..romantic songs... the 3rd one-"i'll be right there waiting for u" is onnn!!   the mood has been changd... my thoughts flying high!!  lukin for someone somewhere... for whom i am still waiting.our life is so busy....all the time we hav somthing or the other to do!!  at present our task is to study....n keep studyn!!  aftr xams...entrance xams...college...again xams..ughhhh!!!! do we get time to find our mate or...thngs will settle as the time passes????!!!I sometimes feel the need of this som1 special wn i see my bro n his "bandi". they get along so well.. make a sweet couple.. n i can jst luk at them & thnk how wud i feel being wid my 1, though i hve tried findin my one.My frnd says that i did a big thng even to xpress my feelings to 16th aug., no matter what were the consequences. But those "guts" n all dosnt exist nw. I may have forgottn her..&...watever happnd..bt how can i remove those life long wounds??!! i mean..i tried findin one..bt nw..i cant..impossible!! i ve gvn up!! whethr i like sombody or not!! its very difficult..rather impossible for me to xpress..because i fear that whatver happnd last time..will be repeatd.I fear to lose another frnd..another mate..  & the drama may begin again....  Before i let my heart takovr my brain, i stop myslf to progress furthr  jst cuz of that fear.I hate her the most for this. That confidnce..doesnt exist anymore just because of the fear of losing another one again & then goin through anothr drama. i knw its nt neccessary that its goin to happn the same again..bt  no!! i cant  .....i dunn have anymore guts.So m waitin..for som1 to come...m right here waitng for u...

 so...u must have com to knw that y i wrote this blog,,, because of my inability to.......                        leave it!!!!         bt soon....i will tell u more about it ...here nly

¢нαρα∂- ¢нαρα∂

Ah!! It has been so long…..I missed writing blogs fr such a long time!! Bt finally I’ve got time to penn dwn my thoughts, xpress something!!!...uhmmmm.. though no body cares!!!..  cuz I have always been doin some bakwas or sayin something irrelevant all the time.  I knw all this abt myslf bt still try to remain “professor looney”.

   My today’s or rather tonite’s bakwas is abt my evergreen “chapad chapad”. No. 1- my frnds are fed up of me that  I never keep secrets n kahin na kahin muh phad kea a hi jata hun!!  Kya karun.. mere paet me kch baat bachti hi nai!!!    Bt in sab se itni galiyan sunne ke bad  I’ve managed to keep some secrets within myslf!!  Atlast!!

No.2- ufff!!!! I’m irritated by this prob of mine which is that I talk a lot…or speak a lot!!  When I start on!!....the distance goes miles… keep on chattering till I realize that whatetver I have said… is jst a waste!!! Waste of time&energy. I feel really bad whn I gt to knw that I’ve eaten up so much of other prson’s brain, who has been continusly listinin to me silently, in hope that I wud soon stop. I can imagine…scratchin head wud give them more pleasure than listnin to me. My this bad habit has also landed me into many troubles.   This is what today happened!!

My frnd calld me up. & wn I began!!! Uhhhh!!!! Sara dimag chat gya!!! Instead of taking some instructions n some help(whch I despiratly needed), I began to give lecture.Even I myslf startd givin the caller some instructions..uh!!!!! I’m such a mad guy!!!   Wo to later i realised ki main kya kuch faltu ka bole ja raha hun..!!!! godd!!! I feel so bad!!! I’m srry if u r reading dis.        Dunno ye chapad chapad krne ki adat mjhe lagi kaha se!!?????????      koi to ye adat chutwao meri!!!........

Hence today I’ve made a promise that I’ll try to speak less!! This blog willl stop me givin lectures….. startin my bkwas si chapad chapad again!!!     Godd!! Hlp me bt I need to improve in this!!!     Tabhi mene comparatively chota blog likha he(I guess yes!!)